Rangitoto is Maori for “Bloody Sky.”

Ironically, it was not named “Bloody Sky” because of the way it appears at dawn.

Keep it & Build an Awesome Utopia

Some time around 1848 the Free Church of Scotland became overwhelmed by the feeling that Edinburgh, Scotland was WAY too cool of a place not to have a more utopia version in New Zealand. So, they founded Dunedin.

They chose a site of exquisite rugged natural beauty that was close to a good natural harbor and a peninsula inhabited by penguins It seemed almost impossible for such a wonderful place not to be a utopia. Hell, they even showed their great respect for Edinburgh by basing the name of the town on the Gaelic word for Edinburgh, Dùn ÈidÈideann.

Dig up and Sell the Shinny parts (aka “you sat on my utopia!”)

Not everyone agreed that the rugged natural beauty of the area was best utilized as a backdrop for a utopia that really liked Edinburgh. There were those who thought it would be far better if the beauty of the area could make them filthy rich. These people were incredibly excited when a bunch of gold was discovered in the area.

No longer did one have to build a boat big enough to move the majestic mountains. Instead, they could just dig up the shinny parts of the mountains and sell them!

People flooded into the area. The discovery of gold near Dunedin can just as the gold rushes of California and Victoria Australia were petering out. Prospectors were able to trade in their old gold rush for a new one by going to new Zealand.

Use it to Lure People In

Sure, gold runs out. However, being really big doesn’t have to.

After the gold rush Dunedin made a bid to use it’s newly enlarged size to…enlarge it’s size. It was histories classic “we are really big and cool, so you should move here and make us bigger and cooler” argument.

Dunedin even sought to speed up this process by throwing a really big party during New Zealand’s 1925 census. With so many people in town for the party, it would be almost impossible not to think that the city was bigger than it actually was. Which would convince more people to move to the city, and possibly make it as big as it pretended to be.

Creative Commons picture by PhillipC.
The moral of the story is: there are lots of ways to deal with your excess rugged natural beauty.

Despite the fact that it is a “neat” place where women have had the right to vote 27 years longer than they have in the United States, New Zealand was not noticed by many people until recently. After all, it is really far away.

The discovery of New Zealand’s rich natural deposits of extreme sports videos and fuzzy fruit have changed all that. Now they are the source of about a quarter of the world’s supply of kiwi fruit. This fruit has become so important to the United States that there are rumors the US government may try to liberate the country from its cruel oppressors in order to stabilize the fuzzy fruit market.

It was a New Zealander who first realized there was money to be made in the “leap off stuff with bungees tied to you” market. They are really good at running down hills inside giant balloons. Oh yeah, and that guy who first reached the summit of Mt. Everest may have been to New Zealand.

There are also unverified claims that it is really easy to get them to take a dare. Like that kid in elementary school you got to eat 20 ants for a dollar.