Here are four super-tough bags that one could take around the world.

Concealed Holster Attache or Laptop Case

I love the duality here. You could use it as a shield when under fire and to carry a weapon in secret…or you could carry your laptop.

This little beauty is said to be able to withstand sub-machine gun fire and provide the highest blunt trauma protection available with soft body armor. This is a class III-A protection shield and can perfectly fit your toothbrush, shaver, and a change of clothes.

A Pelican Case

These cases are focused on protecting things from threats like three story drops and submersion. Pelican says their cases are extremely sturdy, water proof, and even airtight. So sturdy in fact that they can handle being run over by a truck or submerged for two hours without any problem.

I just wonder…will it blend?

A Pacsafe Bag

In order to foil pickpockets and other street theifs pacsafe has woven steel cables into their bags. There are some in the strap so that it can not be easily cut off you by a passing thief. There are even some cables in the fabric itself to prevent someone from slashing the bottom of the bag and letting things fall out.

But perhaps the most important features counter the sneakier criminals. With carefully placed zippers, many with locking ability, the sticky fingered will probably skip this bag.

I actually have and use one of pacsafes smaller bags and enjoy it’s durability and well placed zippers.

A Metal Laptop Case

Few things will raise more eyebrows than a shinny metal briefcase that is handcuffed to you. Combined with a few gigantic bodyguards I know of few flashier ways to securely transport things.

Sure, because it gets more attention than the other methods it may not be nearly as secure as the other bags mentioned above. However, what is really more important respect or security?

Creative Commons picture by gadl.

If you plan on camping in an area with bears, or other almost-as-tough-as-chuck-norris animals, pepper spray can be a nice “just in case” tool. It can also be used for self defense when you don’t trust all the humans around you. That said, it is illegal in places like Canada, Belgum, Hong Kong, an many others. Even in locales where it is legal, it can be a bad travel companion.

The solution: flashlights. Airport security usually doesn’t care about them and they can be bright enough to temporarily disorient an assailant. If things get really bad and the bear just keeps coming, you could always use a big flashlight like a battery powered club.

As normal light bulbs have become more energy efficient our ability to make really bright bulbs has also increased. Some flashlights are so bright they advise people to keep them out of the reach of children. Running off of just a few batteries these flashlights can do there job so well that they are self-defeating. They can light up the path in front of you to the point of making it difficult to look at. Luckily, most flashlights with this sort of capability have lower settings.

Check out this video demonstration of one such flashlights. Even when the camera adjusts to the brightness it still can’t record the image from the center of the beam.

Here is another video that compares various flashlights.

Creative Commons picture by CarbonNYC.
The majority of modern GPS devices are quite fancy. Their displays are big enough to let to you count the rays from Janet Jackson’s sunburst jewelry. They have databases that contain information about every major road on the continent. Some of them even have an internet connection so you can easily find the nearest waffle house next time you stroll through Tulsa. These $500 devices have a clearly defined niche right on your car’s dash. However, much like coral and tropical frogs if you take them very far out of their niche, they die. These devices can not survive long without a car’s steady supply of electricity.

On the other end of the GPS spectrum are devices designed for hikers. They are often about the size of a late ’90s cell phone and intended for use far from power outlets. Several are even waterproof, can last over 15 hours with only two AA batteries, and cost only 100 dollars. Unfortunately they bring with them a lot fewer creature comforts. The displays are often black and…kind of grayish. They are allergic to internet connections, and their maps are rarely very detailed and sometimes nonexistent.

If you would like some directional help outside of your car, the small, cheap, minimalist ones are better.

The Virtues and Costs of Minimalism

Pro

If you are willing to carry one around, these little devices can help you make it back to your hotel after dinner and point the way to that incredible, and hard to find, garden. It is hard to under-emphasize how useful it can be to know which direction you should be going. Knowing how long you need to be going in that direction can also help decide when the cab is worth it.

Con

That little arrow is another mouth to feed with you hard earned batteries. Rechargeable batteries can help, but then you need to…recharge them. It is an added hassle. Not to mention that you actually have to carry the thing. It was annoying enough when cell phones were actually that size, now you might be carrying your cell phone, your camera, and one of these.

As ironic as it is for a locating device, they can also be lost by their owners. You might one day find yourself looking for a device that mocks you by clearly displaying where it is. If you find it, it will tell you where to find it.

Creative Commons picture by swanksalot.

Verdict

Beats me.
Maybe it is worth the c-note and carrying around so that you can find the way back to your hotel at night. Maybe your internal sense of direction is pretty good already and it would just be extra weight.

On the plus side if anyone traveling with you asks “are we there yet” you can respond with a “look at the screen punk.”

All these computers have wifi cards. I think they might get striped of their “netbook” title and expelled from the kingdom if they didn’t. That is just wild speculation though, as I don’t know of any company that has dared to release a netbook without built in wifi.

Asus eee PC 701 – around $320 on ebay

This was the computer that is thought to have started the recent ultra portable laptop craze. Sure there were previous really small laptops, including the OLPC’s innovative XO. However, this model was was designed with your normal internet-addicted consumer in mind.

One thing that rightly earned it some attention was it’s software. This software allows the computer to boot in 15 seconds and is incredibly easy to use. Turns out, that is just what people wanted.

Creative Commons picture by roland.

Acer Aspire One – around $380

The aspire one is a more recent addition to the club. It uses a new-fangled Intel chip that is supposed to be super energy efficient. It also sports a slightly larger keyboard than the eee PC 701. However, the keyboard is not quite full sized. Notably, it’s keyboard is more sturdy than the keyboards on most other “full-sized” laptops I have used (yeah, i have one of these).

Because of it’s recent arrival, there hasn’t been quite enough time for the Linux community to iron out all the bugs. For example, at the time of writing this the Ubuntu community is still grappling for a way to get this computer’s internal microphone to work. Despite the bugs, I still think Linux is the software best suited for this compu-pu.

Asus eee PC 901 – around $600

So many eee 701s have sold since it was released last October, that it probably seemed like a no-brainer for asus to come out with a new model. Now, they can even put in the more energy efficient chip. This eee “version 2″ PC sports the same line of processor that the aspire one has and a nearly full-sized keyboard.

However, you do get a little more for the extra money. The hard drive can hold more and are a bit faster, not to mention that this machine comes with a bigger battery allowing it to be separated from an electrical oasis for longer.

MSI Wind – around $500

Yup, this one also uses the same line of electricity sipping processor that both the eee 901 and the Aspire One use. However the wind brandishes a FULL SIZED keyboard and a bigger display (10 inches, compared to the 901 and aspire one’s 8.9 inches).

Unfortunately, the bigger screen and keyboard do come at the cost of making the whole shebang bigger. Though it is still ultra-portable, it is less ultra-portable than some of the other ultra-portables.

This post is part of an 2 part series on ultra-portable laptops:

• A Traveler’s Introduction to Ultra-Portable Laptops
• 4 Ultra-Portable Laptops You Could Buy Right Now

These new wee hunks of computing plastic tend to share an emphasis on internet use and a small form factor (generally about 2lbs and roughly the size of a hardback book). They pretty much all have wifi cards. Depending on the model you can also get one with a webcam and microphone built in so that you can easily video chat (or even record videos) from the road.

As you might expect, not all ittsy bittsy laptops are created equal. Here are things you will want to look at before purchasing:

Price

I don’t want to spend a lot of money on these things. I figure others are like me. Netbook prices range from $200-$600.

Keyboard ease of use

Having a “condensed” keyboard is pretty common with these ultra-portable laptops. If you plan on using the keyboard at some point, make sure it isn’t so small that it hurts your hands.

Is it portable enough?

We are going for portable right? Make sure it can easily fit in your bag. “Netbooks” or “ultra-portable laptops” are certainly not all the same size.

Does it seem durable?

It sucks to have a cracked screen.

Battery Life

It can be nice to have a computer that thinks it’s a camel.

What software does it support?

I like Ubuntu myself. However, it doesn’t run perfectly on all hardware. Make sure you get a computer that can run the software you want.

Boot speed

A lot of the uses for such a computer are little. How do I get to that restaurant? I wonder if my mom has emailed me? The sort of thing you just want to quickly check and then close the computer. It can save you a lot of time to have a computer that boots in 15 seconds.

Creative Commons picture by Dan4th.

When you are searching the web for these computers, it is also valuable to know that there isn’t really a standard name for them. Sometimes these new portable laptops are called “netbooks,” “ultra-portable PCs,” or sometimes “weee bitty hunks of plastic.”

This post is part of an 2 part series on ultra-portable laptops:

• A Traveler’s Introduction to Ultra-Portable Laptops
• 4 Ultra-Portable Laptops You Could Buy Right Now

Our world is noisier than it once was. Oh yes, my friend, the loud side effects of the world can have health effects. Low levels of background noise (like from traffic) appear to be able to gently freak one out. In studies of children, moderate ambient noise was found to be related to increased blood pressure, heart rate, and levels of stress hormones.

It is also quite well known that high levels of noise can outright damage your hearing. Which, I guess, would actually weakens noise’s ability to slowly increase one’s stress level. Because of that, I’m going to count this as a “backhanded win.”

Sleep is Nice

It is well documented that a lack of sleep makes you hilarious for a few hours and makes “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle” one of the funniest movies ever made. However, after that it can cause some clearly-un-funny side effects. In the extreme lack of sleep can even result in death.

Since it can be hard to sleep when things are all abuzz, a cone of silence could really help out. It might even force your hostel mates to resort to continually poking you until you enter the funny stages of sleep deprivation.

The Conduction Powers of The Skull

Ear plugs are readily available, cheep, and pretty effective. They can be used to help you get to sleep and can also be good at lessening the background noise that is slowly wearing you down. However, like super man, it has a weakness: your skull.

Ear plugs are pretty good at hindering the noise in your ear canal. I like to think of them as a skilled sumo wrestler in a small room. However, ear plugs are helpless against the tricky noise that figures out how to go around the ear canal. This is where the cone of silence could really excel. It could shield your whole skull from pesky noise.

Creative Commons picture by psd.

We Need More Spy Spin Offs Anyway

The space program gave us microwave ovens. The army developed quality canned food. However, I have yet to see a similar payoff from spy agencies. There is no swiss SPY knife.

Asides from all that “stuff they the agency was created to do,” what have spy agencies really brought to the table? They have some catching up to do.

Catching up that can only be done with silent focus.

Indian Jones is served well by several ancient inventions: shoes, a jacket, a hat, and a whip. Since shoes, jackets, and hats have shown themselves to be quite useful it only make sense that the whip is equally so. Now that we have our conclusion, here is a list of pros and cons to support it.

Pros

Can Be Used to Simultaneously Impress and Intimidate

The crowd will say “Oh my god he has a….. coool.” With gasps of both excitement and fear almost any crowd will move away from you and your trusty bull whip. However, they won’t move that far. What are you going to do, throw the whip at them? Many in the crowd may also be aware of how entertaining a whip is in the hands of someone who knows how to use it. With a little skill the whip can be transformed into a musical instrument/interpretive dance aid.

Useful as a Chasm Crossing Device

Nothing can spoil your day quite like a chasm that is barely too big to leap across. When you come across one of these that bull whip that you wove some steel cable into for strength will come in handy. With it and a lot of skill you can swing to the other side.

Beware: The bull whips that are not specially reinforced to handle your weight are actually chasm entering device. When used for the incorrect “chasm crossing” application, they may rip and fulfill the goal they were designed for (entering chasms and scaring cattle).

You Get to Carry Around Something That Breaks The Sound Barrier

Yup, the cracking of a whip is actually a mini-sonic boom.

Creative Commons picture by re-ality.

Scare Livestock Wherever You Go

Cons

You Might Get Gitmo’ed

Customs and airport security agents have this nasty tendency of not taking kindly to weapons. Even weapons that can hurt like a bitch but are believed to have been invented as a noise-making device for controlling livestock.

Not Actually Useful

What are you going to use this for? Defense? If your assailant is within five feet, you are screwed.

Hurts a Fuck Load

You know it, I know it, and cattle know it. A whip can leave a lot more than a welt.