Finance

When traveling now-a-days, carrying money is about as necessary as eating. Luckily people haven’t started charging for air yet.

In the previous SimplyLeave.com article we went over how to transport your money in such a way that it vanishes, now let’s look at three money-toting methods that encourage it’s persistence.

Creative Commons picture by infomatique.

3) Money Belt

Your crotch is pretty high on the list of “areas of your body that you instinctively protect.” Why not use your instincts to your advantage? When you carry money near your genitals, you will be surprised how fast you react to someone try to grab it.

Don’t use if:

You put ALL your money in there. It is embarrassing to have to root around in your crotch when you want to buy that candy bar in the airport. You can get arrested for that in some places.

Even beyond your pride, reach into your money belt all the time sacrifices one of it’s main advantages: that people don’t know you are keeping your money by the baby maker.

You are usually better off if you carry the things you will need frequently somewhere else.

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Having the only pint of ice cream on the bus tour of death valley is a rare situation. It is a circumstance where people want to steal a possession from you that isn’t money. For all those other times here is a look at the three least secure ways to carry your money. [The three most secure ways to travel with money is the next article.]

Creative Commons picture by gruntzooki.

3) In An Open Purse, in Cash

A big wad of cash loosely stuck in an open purse is like a big red button with a sign that says “do not push.” Previously honest people will be tempted. Those who have spent the last few years working at a boring job will wonder if they could get away from it. Even a devout monk would get a rush of adrenaline looking at it. It is just so easy.

Extra points if:

You only hold one side of the purse, so gravity seductively pulls it open.
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Tipping Truth - There is no universal tip-based insult

Some think the best tip-insult is to not leave a tip. Rookie mistake. There are many countries where this is the norm. This is the polite way to deal with good service. In those situations, it is clearly a bad insult.

I know, for us tip-happy Americans it seems crazy. In some parts of the world people charge exactly the amount of money they want.

1 - Insult With a Large Tip in Japan

If you want to anger a service worker in Japan, leave a large tip. Twenty percent will probably be enough to shock them into a memorable state of irritation. A tip implies that they will only do their job correctly when given extra money. In some situations it also implies that the tipper now owns a part of the enterprise they tipped and expect to receive a percentage of the income every month. OK, I made that last one up.

The point is that tipping in Japan is an insult with finesse.

2 - Insult by Omitting a Tip in Chile

Not leaving a tip in a restaurant used to actually be a crime. I’m not talking in a metaphorical way either. There was a law against not tipping at least 10% at restaurants. Modern mean people need not fret though, that law was repealed in 1981. As far as I know, it is now completely legal to comment on the poor quality of an establishment’s waitstaff by not leaving a tip.

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Creative Commons picture by David Paul Ohmer.

Properly budgeting a trip is important…like…whoa.

To help you prepare for your next trip to Rome and Florence I have created this generic budget with some “ballpark figures.”

• Expenses
  • Hotel/hostel (8 nights) —- € 320
  • Breakfast (8 breakfasts) — € 64
  • Running Shoes ————- € 50
  • Nude Suit ——————– € 30
  • Snap off warm-up pants — € 30
  • Lunch (9 Lunches) ——— € 90
  • Colosseum entrance fee — € 10
  • Fake-Streaking the Colosseum - 0
  • Train ticket from Rome to Florence - € 50
  • Dinners (9 Dinners) ——- € 135
  • Fake streaking near The Duomo - 0
  • Entrance fee for 4 other museums - € 60
  • Donations (5) —————- € 30
    • for places w/o entrance fees (churches & such)
  • Skype ————————- € 3
  • Roman Centurion’s Sword (replica) — € 200
  • Bribe for customs agent on way home — € 500
  • Bail —————————- € 1000
• Income
  • Selling 200 signed pictures of streaking the colosseum - €1000
  • Signing and selling the nude suit — {Like a Gazillion}
• Total — Actually make € 6