Adventure

The Lay of The Land

Creative Commons picture by CarbonNYC.
The majority of modern GPS devices are quite fancy. Their displays are big enough to let to you count the rays from Janet Jackson’s sunburst jewelry. They have databases that contain information about every major road on the continent. Some of them even have an internet connection so you can easily find the nearest waffle house next time you stroll through Tulsa. These $500 devices have a clearly defined niche right on your car’s dash. However, much like coral and tropical frogs if you take them very far out of their niche, they die. These devices can not survive long without a car’s steady supply of electricity.

On the other end of the GPS spectrum are devices designed for hikers. They are often about the size of a late ’90s cell phone and intended for use far from power outlets. Several are even waterproof, can last over 15 hours with only two AA batteries, and cost only 100 dollars. Unfortunately they bring with them a lot fewer creature comforts. The displays are often black and…kind of grayish. They are allergic to internet connections, and their maps are rarely very detailed and sometimes nonexistent.

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Bathing at the bottom of small waterfalls in incredibly exhilarating. Standing in the rush of water you get to slowly replace the grime stuck to you with the characteristics of the falls around you. Afterwards you feel fresh, clean, and beautiful. Waterfalls are the first and best shower ever invented.

As cool as that experience can be, there is a waterfall-related bathing activity that far exceeds it. Bathing at the top of HUGE waterfalls.

Usually bathing at the top of waterfalls is a recipe for trouble. Water that is about to slide off a cliff has an unfortunate tendency of encouraging other things to slide of the cliff. Because of this I usually discourage the top-of-waterfall bath. However, some waterfalls have a small sheltered area, a pool of relative tranquility, that will allow you to safely bathe in water that is about to free fall off a mountain. Just be really sure that such a pool exists before jumping in.

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Creative Commons picture by Toast to Life.Indiana Jones may not be the best traveling role model. However, he does have an uncanny abilities to both humorously deal with failure and consistently win choreographed fight scenes. Honestly now, what else do you really need to enjoy traveling?

Indian Jones is served well by several ancient inventions: shoes, a jacket, a hat, and a whip. Since shoes, jackets, and hats have shown themselves to be quite useful it only make sense that the whip is equally so. Now that we have our conclusion, here is a list of pros and cons to support it.

Pros

Can Be Used to Simultaneously Impress and Intimidate

The crowd will say “Oh my god he has a….. coool.” With gasps of both excitement and fear almost any crowd will move away from you and your trusty bull whip. However, they won’t move that far. What are you going to do, throw the whip at them? Many in the crowd may also be aware of how entertaining a whip is in the hands of someone who knows how to use it. With a little skill the whip can be transformed into a musical instrument/interpretive dance aid.

Useful as a Chasm Crossing Device

Nothing can spoil your day quite like a chasm that is barely too big to leap across. When you come across one of these that bull whip that you wove some steel cable into for strength will come in handy. With it and a lot of skill you can swing to the other side.

Beware: The bull whips that are not specially reinforced to handle your weight are actually chasm entering device. When used for the incorrect “chasm crossing” application, they may rip and fulfill the goal they were designed for (entering chasms and scaring cattle). Read the rest of this entry »

1) Cutlasses were used here

This town has a rich history of pirate-era weaponry use. Mostly because it was an important Spanish treasure port during the pirate-era. In fact, that is really what put Portobelo on the map.

Every once and a while a bunch of Spanish would get together in the town, load an incredible amount of sliver on a bunch of boats, and decided to make a booze run to Spain.

2) Henry Morgan & A Can of Atrocity

Pissed that the Spanish were not buying his preferred brand of rum, Captain Henry Morgan attacked the town in 1668. He lead a band of 450 “defenders of rum’s honor” against the heavily fortified settlement. The dude actually pulled in off. He then spent 14 days committing atrocities.

Henry Morgan’s raid went down in history as one of the most successful and “I’m soooo glad I wasn’t there” pirate raids. The legend of Henry Morgan’s conquest was later heightened when Morgan scandalized the pirate world by admitting that he had plundered while drunk.
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Creative Commons picture by m.bjerke.

Despite the fact that it is a “neat” place where women have had the right to vote 27 years longer than they have in the United States, New Zealand was not noticed by many people until recently. After all, it is really far away.

The discovery of New Zealand’s rich natural deposits of extreme sports videos and fuzzy fruit have changed all that. Now they are the source of about a quarter of the world’s supply of kiwi fruit. This fruit has become so important to the United States that there are rumors the US government may try to liberate the country from its cruel oppressors in order to stabilize the fuzzy fruit market.
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