An Absolutely Exhaustive Look at The Pros and Cons of Traveling With a Whip

Creative Commons picture by Toast to Life.Indiana Jones may not be the best traveling role model. However, he does have an uncanny abilities to both humorously deal with failure and consistently win choreographed fight scenes. Honestly now, what else do you really need to enjoy traveling?

Indian Jones is served well by several ancient inventions: shoes, a jacket, a hat, and a whip. Since shoes, jackets, and hats have shown themselves to be quite useful it only make sense that the whip is equally so. Now that we have our conclusion, here is a list of pros and cons to support it.

Pros

Can Be Used to Simultaneously Impress and Intimidate

The crowd will say “Oh my god he has a….. coool.” With gasps of both excitement and fear almost any crowd will move away from you and your trusty bull whip. However, they won’t move that far. What are you going to do, throw the whip at them? Many in the crowd may also be aware of how entertaining a whip is in the hands of someone who knows how to use it. With a little skill the whip can be transformed into a musical instrument/interpretive dance aid.

Useful as a Chasm Crossing Device

Nothing can spoil your day quite like a chasm that is barely too big to leap across. When you come across one of these that bull whip that you wove some steel cable into for strength will come in handy. With it and a lot of skill you can swing to the other side.

Beware: The bull whips that are not specially reinforced to handle your weight are actually chasm entering device. When used for the incorrect “chasm crossing” application, they may rip and fulfill the goal they were designed for (entering chasms and scaring cattle).

You Get to Carry Around Something That Breaks The Sound Barrier

Yup, the cracking of a whip is actually a mini-sonic boom.

Creative Commons picture by re-ality.

Scare Livestock Wherever You Go

Cons

You Might Get Gitmo’ed

Customs and airport security agents have this nasty tendency of not taking kindly to weapons. Even weapons that can hurt like a bitch but are believed to have been invented as a noise-making device for controlling livestock.

Not Actually Useful

What are you going to use this for? Defense? If your assailant is within five feet, you are screwed.

Hurts a Fuck Load

You know it, I know it, and cattle know it. A whip can leave a lot more than a welt.