Simply Leave

Rome is a place of beauty and history. It cradles towering ancient architecture and meltingly good cuisine. It is a place with a great depth of time. A place where the layers of art, perspectives on life, and human expression have piled high.

But, no matter how much the art of the pantheon may touch your soul, the Italians will try to prevent you from taking it home. To save you the trouble of having to pull a “National Treasure: Really Cool Roman Building” style heist, here is a list of four photographic archetypes that can help you easily bring the feeling of Rome with you.

1 - The Roman Colosseum

Creative Commons picture by Sebastian Bergmann.

This building is a monument to love. Not the normal “you should feel guilty for not building something this cool for your spouse” sort of thing. Instead this shows that around 70 AD people liked their sports THAT much. Instead of a giant temple or statue of a god or leader they built a humongous monument to their sports. Read the rest of this entry »

Creative Commons picture by fredcamino. *Image not of the backpacker in question.
A backpacker has been found who seems not to care what bag she uses on her travels. Through her profound ambivalence she is breaking one of the biggest backpacker stereotypes known to man.

“Well…I think I started out with this kinda worn Winnie-the-Pooh backpack” states the  backpacker. “However, it didn’t stay with me all that long. I think a kid stole it when I was in Mexico City. Whoever did it, they were nice enough to dump out all my clothes.”

When we asked her about the merits of the laundry bag that she was using at the time of the interview she said “Well, it is easier than carrying my stuff without a bag….and I guess it is easy to carry on planes because it can fit in all sorts of different spaces. It also works well as a pillow.”

Because it is so rare for an around the world backpacker not to care about her bag, her seeming lack of concern was met with a seizable amount of skepticism. Many thought it was just an act to get attention. To test her sincerity we switched the laundry bag that she was using with a Optimus Prime duffel. Once we informed her of the change she responded “OK” and happily walked off with her stuff in the new container.

As troubling as some many find this woman’s lack of bag-concern, there may be a ray of hope. Technically she may no longer be a “backpacker”. Though she is sleeping in hostels and traveling the world she is no longer using a backpack. Without the use of a backpack she may instead be better described as a “traveler who doesn’t care about her bag.”

However, she did once use a backpack. So we can’t fully write this craziness off.

Creative Commons picture by Arkie Lad.
*Image not of actual hotel.
I have always been attracted to the allure of sleeping in a drain pipe. I don’t really know why. Perhaps it is based in a deep jealously of squirrels. On the other hand it could just be the romance of the idea.

It is now possible for my drain dream to be a reality (without the normal really-bad-smell or shrinking machine requirement). All I have to do is make reservations at that dasparkhotel and get to Linz, Austria.

Each room at the DasParkHotel is made from a section of really big cement tube (which they call “sleep-pipes” on their website). For comfort, a bed and side table are built into each tube. Additionally, the tube-room features electricity, a light, blankets, and cotton sleeping sacs. The round shape of the room also allows ample room to store stuff under the bed.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tipping Truth - There is no universal tip-based insult

Some think the best tip-insult is to not leave a tip. Rookie mistake. There are many countries where this is the norm. This is the polite way to deal with good service. In those situations, it is clearly a bad insult.

I know, for us tip-happy Americans it seems crazy. In some parts of the world people charge exactly the amount of money they want.

1 - Insult With a Large Tip in Japan

If you want to anger a service worker in Japan, leave a large tip. Twenty percent will probably be enough to shock them into a memorable state of irritation. A tip implies that they will only do their job correctly when given extra money. In some situations it also implies that the tipper now owns a part of the enterprise they tipped and expect to receive a percentage of the income every month. OK, I made that last one up.

The point is that tipping in Japan is an insult with finesse.

2 - Insult by Omitting a Tip in Chile

Not leaving a tip in a restaurant used to actually be a crime. I’m not talking in a metaphorical way either. There was a law against not tipping at least 10% at restaurants. Modern mean people need not fret though, that law was repealed in 1981. As far as I know, it is now completely legal to comment on the poor quality of an establishment’s waitstaff by not leaving a tip.

Read the rest of this entry »

Creative Commons picture by David Paul Ohmer.

Properly budgeting a trip is important…like…whoa.

To help you prepare for your next trip to Rome and Florence I have created this generic budget with some “ballpark figures.”

• Expenses
  • Hotel/hostel (8 nights) —- € 320
  • Breakfast (8 breakfasts) — € 64
  • Running Shoes ————- € 50
  • Nude Suit ——————– € 30
  • Snap off warm-up pants — € 30
  • Lunch (9 Lunches) ——— € 90
  • Colosseum entrance fee — € 10
  • Fake-Streaking the Colosseum - 0
  • Train ticket from Rome to Florence - € 50
  • Dinners (9 Dinners) ——- € 135
  • Fake streaking near The Duomo - 0
  • Entrance fee for 4 other museums - € 60
  • Donations (5) —————- € 30
    • for places w/o entrance fees (churches & such)
  • Skype ————————- € 3
  • Roman Centurion’s Sword (replica) — € 200
  • Bribe for customs agent on way home — € 500
  • Bail —————————- € 1000
• Income
  • Selling 200 signed pictures of streaking the colosseum - €1000
  • Signing and selling the nude suit — {Like a Gazillion}
• Total — Actually make € 6